A Sad Day





It is a sad day today.  Mrs HM's birth mother passed away this morning from aggressive cancer.  We spent the night around her bed and she slipped away quietly at 7:20 this morning.

I have mentioned her in other posts as our "aged relative" and we had recently moved house to be close to her after she broke her hip. Not long after we moved house, the diagnosis of inoperable aggressive cancer was given to her. She was a theater nurse all her life and knew exactly what the doctors were talking about. For us, the last seven weeks have just been an ever-shrinking round of hospital-work-sleep every single day .... hence not much activity here at Mr Home Maker.

This little old lady enriched all our lives in countless ways - I will always be utterly thankful that Mrs HM reached out and connected with her birth mother a few years ago.

I smile as I write this as she would often chat to me about frugality. She was the veritable queen of frugal and fully believed in saving in one corner to be able to spend on things that mattered to her.  She would often say things like "Well, I had to buy several of those because they were so cheap!" ... which would explain the lifetime stockpile of so many things in her cupboards.

Anyway, I'm off to face the unlovely tasks of arranging her funeral ("Mind you don't spend too much" I hear her say "Just keep it very simple OK!?"), organising final bills, cleaning and organising the house (huge job), attending to the countless necessary legal responsibilities ..... we won't be coming up for air just quite yet.




On a nicer note, we have now permanently taken over the care of her little dog Toby. He is a real affectionate sweetie and so very brave .... at least he is on this side of a fly-screen door.

Take care folks and stay nice

Mr HM

Comments

  1. my sincere condolences to all your family, P, may she rest in peace.
    Toby will bring so much joy and laughter xxx

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    1. Thank you Sue. Toby is just wonderful and he has been living with us for the last 7 weeks now.

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  2. Oh Phil! My thoughts are with you and the MH family.
    All my love,

    Eden xoxo

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    1. Thank you Eden. Now is the time to organise all our thoughts into wonderful memories

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  3. So sorry to hear that, Phil but how wonderful that your wife was able to spend the last few years of her mum's life with her. You will all have some lovely memories I am sure. No, you can't pull the wool over a nurse's eyes that's for sure. Big hugs to you all.

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    1. It was wonderful that Mrs HM got to connect and that that connection clicked so wonderfully. Yes, she would often listen to the Dr then launch into medical terminology that only a nurse would know.

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  4. Best wishes to you all, especially Mrs HM and Toby. It is so hard to lose a mum at any age. Mine left in October aged 95 and I still have my days. Lots of hugs to all.

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  5. So sorry to hear this Phil. Prayers for your family will be said here today.

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  6. Sweetly bittersweet. Sorry for your loss but how wonderful to have spent the last few weeks this way.

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    1. How true - but we have no regrets and that is the main thing

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  7. My sincere condolences to you and your family, Phil. A very sad time for you all.

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    1. Thanks Robynne. The funeral is next Tuesday, so I am staying 'together' till that is done

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  8. Very sad to read of your family's loss today. Lovely though that your wife had the chance to connect with her birth mother and to share some years with her. Much love to you all. Meg Xx

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    1. Thanks Meg - yes it was an instant connection between them both and time well spent. We are so glad we did it

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  9. Sending you hugs and hope for what has been and things to come. Make sure you all take care of yourselves.

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    1. Thanks Dc. Yep, we plan to just take some time out

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    1. Thanks Liz - plenty of really lovely memories however.

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  11. Very sorry to hear your sad news. It's always such a hard time. Grieving people expected to make important decisions. It sounds as though she will live on in your frugal life decisions . Condolences to the HM Family

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    1. Thanks Lisa - luckily she had the presence of mind to give very clear instructions before her passing which has made our tasks now a little easier

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  12. Our condolences to you and Mrs. HM.

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    1. Thanks Jimmy. Much appreciated from us both

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  13. Best wishes to you and your family at this sad time.

    NellieGrace

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  14. My condolences to Mrs. HM and yourself. I lost my mom a year ago and it does leave a hole In your life. Sending hugs and prayers from Canada.

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    1. Thank you Sandra - we hope you are doing OK too. I gather it takes time to organise thoughts and memories

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  15. I am sorry for y'all s loss.
    She is with our Heavenly Father at peace, and no pain..

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  16. So sorry for your loss. Take care.

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  17. I am sorry for your loss, she sounded like a special lady...hugs and best wishes to all

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  18. So sorry to hear that Mr HM family.
    To Mrs HM, so happy for you that you could get to know your birth Mother, my husband discovered a full blood brother a few years ago, his mum and dad had a child together before they were married, and were coerced into adopting him, it was the "done thing" back then, fortunately he was raised by a very loving family. His birth father (my husband's father) died last year, it was so good for them to meet and know each other for those last few years. I think you would always be left wondering if you never had that opportunity.
    Hugs to you all, sad and busy times ahead.

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    1. Thank you Cheryl
      We have discovered a brother and a whole raft of cousins the neither them or us knew each other existed. We have met some and they are great people and plan to keep reaching out. Belonging is so important. The world is a different place than it was in 1967 when Mrs HM was given across for adoption.

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  19. Sorry to hear, may she rest in peace. At the same time, you made me chuckle when you imagined her saying about the funeral, "Mind you don't spend too much." It sounds like she was a wonderful woman. Is that an image of her teapot? It's beautiful!

    Thank you for taking in Toby.

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    1. Toby is a blessing. Ha ha - yes she could not see the point in spending any $$ on funerals etc. However, we have managed to organise a lovely service for her and still honour her wishes for it to be simple and frugal.

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  20. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. I'm sure she was thrilled to bits that she had a chance to connect with her daughter after all those years. It takes a special person to give up a child for them to have a better life.

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    1. I do not think we fully understand the bottled up emotion of a mother who has felt the need to hand over a child at birth. All that emotion poured out in the last 4 years - amazing stuff

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  21. How very sad for you and your family. My sincere condolences to you all.

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  22. Very sorry to hear that Phil my condolences to both yourself and your wife and special friend hugs to your lovely wife and yourself during this difficult time.

    Sewingcreations15.

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    1. Thank you for the hugs Sewingcreations15. We felt them this end :-)

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  23. Hello Phil,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss after what must have been a tough time. I hope you will take some time to rest up when you can, especially during the difficult task of cleaning out the house. And I think an occasional take away or treat wouldn't be at all unreasonable to help get you all through ;-)

    Madeleine.x

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    1. Hi Madeleine. Going through house is a daunting task. We know we are going to find plenty of things that will set the emotions going again.

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  24. My sincere prayers are with you all as you come to a place of saying goodbye to your dearly loved "aged relative" Take you time. Don't be rushed and cherish the times you all got to spend together.

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    1. Thanks happyathome. We are trying to take it as leisurely as we can. I think it is all catching up with us today - feeling very drained.

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  25. Sorry to hear the sad news. I hope you all have some very good memories of her over the last few years.
    Take care of yourselves while you go through the next process. We'll see you when you're back again.

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    1. Thanks jay. Very kind. We are just taking a day at a time.

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  26. Thoughts and prayers being sent your way. Much love and big squishy hugs.

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    1. Thanks for the squishy hugs Jane. Needed them.

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  27. I'm so sorry to hear this Phil. My condolences to you and your family.
    She sounds like a very special lady. May she rest in peace.

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    1. Thanks Nil. She was a special lady, most certainly

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  28. condolences to you & the family, so sorry for your loss
    do take the time to grieve
    thanx for sharing

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    1. Thanks Selina. Greif is a funny thing hey. So many twists and turns and more to come yet I reckon

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  29. She got to spend her last moments, with her loved ones. I hope I can be as brave as her, when my time comes. It's hard saying goodbye, to anyone who has come to mean something, to us. Even our animals. Beautiful Toby, Mrs HM and family, God speed.

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    1. It would have been lovely to have had more time with her .... but never mind. Thanks for your thoughts as always Chris

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  30. A beautiful post in so many ways Phil, and condolences to you, Mrs HM, and your family. It sounds to me that your 'elderly relative' was a very lucky lady in her final years of life. She would be so very proud, had she a chance to read this post.

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    1. Thanks Sally. I thin it was meant to be. If we had not have reached out 4 years ago she probably would have died alone.

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  31. Condolences Phil to you, your lovely wife and family. Your MIL sounds like a remarkable woman and will be remembered with love and affection always a sign of a life well lived.
    Lavenderlass

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    1. Thank you Lavenderlass. She was remarkable, absolutely.

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  32. Condolences to all the family. It's always a tuff time when a loved one passes but it sounds like you all have some lovely memories.
    Casey

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  33. My condolences Phil to you and your family. How lovely that she was surrounded by loving family and friends.

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  34. So sorry....my condolences for you all!

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  35. Condolences to the family. I am sure the little dog is a treasure.

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  36. I did post a comment somewhere, not sure which button I pressed but it is still in cybersphere, lol.

    Anyway, condolences to Mrs HM, you and your family. Losing a mum is tough at any age. Lots of hugs from all is absolutely magical.

    I lost my 95yo mum last October and I am still finding my way. Family hugs are the best atm.
    Take care of you all.

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  37. Very sad to hear of her passing, Phil. Give your dear wife a gentle hug from me. How wonderful though, that she/you were given this time with her and were able to make precious memories. God bless your family as you grieve, and as you sort through all the legalities and arrangements.

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